Do You Hear What I Hear?

Shhh! Hear that? Yes my friends, that is the sweet, sweet sound of freedom!!! School is over, my Christmas shopping is practically done, and my to-do list has been whittled down to nothing. I get to go home tonight and do absolutely nothing. How freaking awesome is that? If I was more well-rested, I'd be even more excited. On second thought, it's probably a good idea that I'm so sleep deprived--I don't think you could handle my true level of happy.

The Daily Show

People often laugh at me when I say I get my news from The Daily Show with Jon Stewart. Despite studies indicating that the program has just as much actual news content as the big three network's half hour news programs, The Daily Show maintains its reputation as mindless entertainment for stoners and slackers. The show itself is irreverant and hilarious, of course, but it delivers real content to my demographic. Tonight, The Daily Show forwent its normal standard of a five minute intro, five minute special, five minute guest spot, five minute special, moment of zen, and done. Tonight, Jon Stewart welcomed Mike Huckabee to discuss his new book, Do the Right Thing. The guest spot took the last fifteen minutes of the show, and my respect for Jon Stewart grew exponentially. He is one of the smartest men on television, and debates in a smarter and fairer way than anyone else that I've seen. I don't agree with everything everything either man was saying, but it was refreshing to see something open and honest on television for a change. You should youtube it...and then tell me Jon Stewart isn't one of your new heroes.

This is my brain on homework...

I feel like the egg in the frying pan from those anti-drug commercials from however long ago (15 years?). I have spent more hours this weekend doing homework than I have in recent memory. I read all of two different novels, one being The Hunchback of Notre Dame (not your run-of-the-mill weekend reading project). I have depressed myself by reading four of Edgar Allen Poe's short stories. Finally I had to stop that because I was afraid I would hang myself if I read anymore.

I am now back at Panera trying to write a paper for the second time today. The background noise is almost unbearable, and I can't turn my iPod up loud enough to drown it out. The people next to me seem to be talking obnoxiously loud, but that might just be me. I just cannot focus.

I'm not sure why I'm resisting this paper so. It's not difficult. I could probably knock it out in two hours if I would just sit down and do it. Grr. I think I need another Mountain Dew. That may unscramble my brain. I have tried Facebook stalking, I've tried an old standby computer game that always makes me happy, I've tried listening to Britney' s new CD...sadly none of these things has kicked me out of my funk.

Ugh.

That's all.

Wal-Mart GRRR

Why is it that you can find everything at Wal-Mart, but the one thing you're looking for? I mean, you can buy tube socks, antifreeze, and a frozen pizza under the same roof. But they never actually have the one thing you need. The last time I went, they were out of my hair conditioner. They are constantly out of my tomato soup. Tonight, there is not a barnyard animal to be found in the entire store. Dinosaurs, Elephants, Zebras, Tarantulas, sure! But a horse? Or a pig? Non-existent. Tomorrow begins the search for plastic barnyard animals. Grr.

The List

I have a tremendous amount of things to do in the next three weeks. I wrote it all down last night and I am now even more stressed out than I was before. Yikes! So here is the list, so that I know what I'm up against:

Baby Shower:

• Plan cake with Karen (need to do today)
• Create ultimate baby shower bingo game (this weekend)
• Call Jazz to change time of party (Thursday)

Law school applications:

• Turn in transcript request (today)
• Bug Carney & Boon about Letters of recommendation (today and tomorrow)
• Finish personal statement (this weekend)

Read:

• The Hunchback of Notre Dame (this weekend)
• The Complete Short Stories of Poe (today)
• Civil Disobedience (sometime next week)
• Billy Budd (by next wednesday)
• The House of Seven Gables (the week of the 15th)
• Forty Signs of Rain (this weekend)
• Stacks of research on Wuthering Heights (this weekend)

Write:

• Response paper on Woman on the Edge of Time (already late--tonight)
• Response paper on Pushkin (already late--by Monday)
• Response paper on Hunchback (this weekend)
• Research paper on Sir Walter Scott (research this weekend, write next weekend)
• Final Response paper (topic yet to be determined--next weekend)
• Overview paper for Environmental Novels class (next weekend)
• Final draft of Senior Thesis on Wuthering Heights (start this weekend, meet with professor on Monday, finish next weekend)

Christmas:

• Decide on and shop for five remaining presents (must complete at least one of them this weekend so I can ship. the rest can be done after the 17th)
• Find the perfect gift for my secret santa at work (next weekend)
• Tell my mom I'm not coming for Christmas (waiting until she calls me. i'm not initiating that conversation)

I'm exhausted just thinking about it. I need Hiro from Heroes to come and stop time for me for ahwile.

Embarrassing!!!!

Yesterday I went to the library. While there, I realized I needed to use the restroom. I walked in to the ladies' room, and was confronted by a very manly looking person. So much though that I stepped out of the bathroom, checked the sign and then walked back in. The manly-looking one was giving me a funny look...so I asked, "Is this the ladies' room?" The manly girl answered yes. I then ran to a stall and hid inside until she left. Talk about mortifying.

The Holidays

Ahh, the holidays. The most glorious time of the year. I almost typed that with a straight face. :) Fresh off spending the day with family yesterday, and in anticipation of spending all day with them tomorrow, I thought I'd share a few of my observations about the most stressful part of the holiday season. Say it together, people: Family.

Why is family so stressful? Consider the dynamics. You take a large group of people together. This large group may or may not know each other well. More than likely, they are slightly more than acquaintances. You put them in one house together to eat, drink, and socialize. Imagine trying this with 30 random acquaintances...friends of friends, coworkers, and/or the bagel guy. It's essentially a recipe for disaster.

So here you are, smack dab in the middle of a group of people you probably haven't seen since last Christmas, and now you get to spend all day long with them! An entire day's worth of small talk. The same inane questions over and over again. "What have you been up to?" "How's your job going?" "What are your plans for the weekend?"...until you want to crawl into a whole and stay there until after New Years.

My survival technique? Bring a cartoon, in my case, "Wall-E," and hide in the basement with the most normal members of my family: the kids. It works surprisingly well. I get an entire 2 hours away from all the crazy people...you can stretch it out if you factor in a bathroom break in about half way through. It takes awhile for six kids to use the bathroom. :)

Annoyance

I am in a bad mood today. Work was bad, people made me mad. My performance evaluation is on Friday. Yuck. People who walk up behind you until they're just out of your peripheral vision drive me crazy. People who can't figure out a four-way stop should be shot. The guy in the car in front of me tonight who was driving 35 in 45 zone should know that he really upset me. I am stressed out. I can't think normally. My brain feels like it's shutting down. Lack of sleep. Life sucks and then you die.

I've always loved Keats

I bring to you my single favorite stanza of poetry of all time, courtesy of John Keats's "Ode to a Nightengale."

O, for a draught of vintage! that hath been
Cool'd a long age in the deep-delved earth,
Tasting of Flora and county green,
Dance and Provencal song, and sunburnt mirth!
O for a beaker of full warmed South,
Full of the the true, the blushful Hippocrene,
With beaded bubbles winking at the brim,
And purple-stained mouth;
That I might drink, and leave the world unseen,
And with thee fade away into the forest dim

More on why this is so awesome, and recent revelations about British authors to come...

Productivity

I'm one of those people who only accomplishes things when there is a significant level of stress present. This seems counter-productive since when I'm stressed out, I'm a cranky, emotional mess teetering on the edge of a mental breakdown. But there's what I think of as the "productive stress zone," the sweet spot of stress that motivates me to create great things.

Example: I have copious amounts of reading and paper-writing to do each week. Do I spread it out, try to tackle a little each day? No...nothing gets accomplished that way. I find myself on Facebook, or reading stupid websites like Perez all night. Come Sunday afternoon, though...Bam! I swing into action and knock out three papers in six hours, complete my reading for the week, and do all of my online class postings in another two.

This is certainly not the healthiest mode of operation, but it's what works for me...